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After carpooling Derek and the other three Soccer Moms of the Apocalypse’s kids to school, Wila went home and managed to get through her daily yoga session in the family room and into her meditation before Gammy woke up and came downstairs.
“Morning, baby girl,” she said cheerfully.
Wila opened her eyes. “Morning, Gammy.”
“You still going to help me with those greens?” With that tone, Gammy wasn’t asking a question.
Of course I am, Gammy.” Wila climbed to her feet. “Don’t we need to get you a decent colander first?”
Her grandmother frowned. “Don’t get smart with me, young lady.”
“I wasn’t.” Wila hugged her grandmother and kissed her cheek before she crossed to the kitchen table. After sitting down on one of her intact chairs, she pulled on her athletic shoes. “I need to pick up a few things at Arrow, too.”
“You’re not going to wear those pants to the store, are you?” Gammy scowled at her.
“What’s wrong with them?” Wila looked down at her yoga pants expecting to see a stain or a tear.
“First of all, it’s November, and it’s too dang cold.” Gammy scowled.
“It’s been in the sixties the last two days.” In fact, the unusual warm snap had both the local Oakfield weather reporters as well as those in the Chicago metro area making jokes the end of the world was near. As if the dead walking around weren’t enough. “I don’t need anything warmer.”
“Well, they are too tight for you to be wearing them out in public,” Gammy admonished. “I admit you’re fine looking woman, but boys will think you’re a female of loose morals.”
Wila finished tying her shoes and stood. “Gammy, styles have changed a little bit since you were my age. And as for loose morals—” She concentrated and manifested her flaming sword. “If anybody thinks they can try anything with me, this will make them think differently.”
“All right, but don’t blame me if you get stared at for wearing tight pants while swinging a flaming sword,” Gammy muttered.
“You didn’t mind Errol Flynn in tight pants and brandishing a sword in those old black and white movies,” Wila teased.
“That’s different,” Gammy mumbled, looking everywhere except at Wila.
She laughed as she grabbed her keys off the breakfast bar. “Get your jacket, and let’s get that colander.”
##
Wila offered to let Gammy push the shopping cart through the big-box department store.
Gammy waved a dismissive hand. “Don’t need it for support anymore, baby. It’s strange, but my joints aren’t hurting me like they used to. The Lord has taken my pain away like He promised in the good book.”
That was one of the small blessings of the risen dead. And it was fun watching her grandmother’s amazement at some of the new tech that had come out in the last ten years.
“Now why on earth does anyone need just one cup of coffee?” Gammy said as she stared at the row of tiny coffee makers on the shelf in the kitchenware section. “I would have thought those things would have died out by now from all the waste.”
“Derek doesn’t drink coffee, and there’s no sense in making an entire pot for me,” Wila said. “Mine comes in handy.”
“If you make a full pot, you’d have enough for both of us for the entire day,” Gammy insisted.
“And it tastes like burnt sludge after it sits for that long,” Wila protested. “I never knew how good coffee could taste until Penny opened Java’s Palace.”
Gammy snorted. “I can’t believe your friend makes a living selling expensive, fancy coffee and breakfast foods the entire day.”
Wila laughed. “You need to hang out with her father-in-law Edward. He agrees with you.”
“I am not spending time with a married man,” Gammy snapped.
“He’s widowed—” Wila stopped herself. “Actually, I’m not sure what a person is if their dead spouse comes back to life.”
“I already feel bad enough for Laura.” Gammy said softly. “I don’t know what I would have done if I found out your grandfather was keeping time with another woman.”
“That’s not really fair though.” Wila sighed. “It took Edward two years to finally move on with his life, and he just started seeing Marian shortly before the Apocalypse started.”
“I suppose that’s true. Is Penny will bringing Laura along to your girls’ night on Wednesday?” Gammy asked with a hopeful tone.
“I’m sure she will.” Wila chuckled. Her grandmother was old enough to be Laura’s mother. But the two of them had bonded over their resurrected status.
“I wonder if Otis will show up at our old house in Chicago,” Gammy murmured.
“Turk promised to call if Pappy does.” Wila’s cousin had bought Gammy’s house on the Southside after Pappy died because she didn’t have the money to maintain it. However, Wila was pretty sure Turk hadn’t believed a word she said when she called him about Gammy’s resurrection.
Wila and Gammy turned down the next aisle of housewares. Different utensils hung on the walls. Each grouped by designer color instead of function.
“Now, why does anyone need lime green spatulas, hot pink mixing bowls, and purple paring knives?” Gammy didn’t wait for an answer to her rhetorical question. Instead, she glared at the labels for each utensil. “And these prices are just plum foolish!”
“I hate to tell you, but this is one of the cheapest stores these days.”
Gammy picked up a spatula that matched the purple paring knife. “And these plastics are so thin. We had much sturdier Tupperware in my day.”
“They’re silicon, not plastic, and I thought we were looking for large colander,” Wila said wryly.
You watch your mouth, young lady.” Gammy tried look over the reading glasses that had been normally perched at the end of nose when she was alive, but since she rose from the grave, her eyesight was twenty-twenty. Wila had even taken Gammy to the opthamologist who rented space in this store to make sure.
Gammy marched down to the end of the aisle where the stainless steel kitchen utensils shone under the store’s fluorescent lights. She picked up a large colander and shook her head. Wila pushed the cart in the same direction.
“Can you believe this thing costs more than I made in a week cleaning houses when your mama was a little bit?” Gammy shoved the price tag in Wila’s face.
“That’s actually a good price.” Wila flicked the metal with her forefinger. It pealed a bright note. “Decently made. Big enough for that mess of greens you bought.”
“B-but…” Gammy poked her head around the corner. “This is it. All there is.” Her shoulders slumped. “I can’t let you spend your money on this. I’ll make do—”
“Gammy.” Wila laid a hand on her grandmother’s shoulder. “It’s okay. I can afford it.”
“You’ve got a boy to raise, and now an extra mouth to feed, a-and—”
“Family looks out for each other,” Wila said fiercely. “Isn’t that what you always told me?”
“This wasn’t—” Gammy’s body trembled beneath Wila’s touch. “This wasn’t what I expected the afterlife to be like.” Gammy reached up and patted Wila’s hand.
“You expected bad coffee and cheap Tupperware in Heaven?” Wila teased.
Gammy laughed. “You are being evil, child.”
“No, I want to make my grandmother happy.” Wila gently pulled the stainless steel colander from Gammy’s hand. “Now, let’s get the rest of the things I need. Afterward, we’ll stop for expensive coffee and fancy sandwiches at Penny’s café.”
“Evil child.” Gammy snickered. “Evil, evil child.”
“With all due respect, that’s evil woman,” Wila shot back.
“What kind of evil things do you do?” a deep voice said behind her.
Wila whirled around to find a tall man with deep brown skin, equally deep brown eyes, and a high and tight cut. He was dressed in a medium gray suit accentuated by a scarlet silk tie. The man would be hot as hell if he didn’t have an ugly ass demon crawling under his skin.
“Well?” he asked. “I’m curious about what evil things War would do.”
Despite her heart hammering in her chest and the breath frozen in her lungs, Wila shifted so Gammy was behind her. She couldn’t, wouldn’t show her fear to this thing. “How about I simply kill you instead?” she forced out.
Except they were in a popular store, and it was getting busier by the moment. If she drew her sword, there would be too many questions. And the Soccer Moms already had enough trouble with reporters following Francine all over Oakfield after she was filmed turning into Famine during a confrontation with some vigilantes at one of the local cemeteries.
“What’s wrong with his face?” Gammy whispered behind her.
“He’s not a person. He’s Satan spawn,” Wila spat. She could barely keep her trembling in check as the panic attack grew, but the demon would take Gammy’s soul if Wila gave in to the fear.
The demon placed a hand on its chest. “Well, now, that hurts my feelings, War.”
Wila glared at it. “You don’t have feelings.”
It shrugged. “Well, that’s true.”
“Why are you harassing us?”
“Technically, I’m not harassing anyone.” It grinned. “Is that one of the evil things you like? To be harassed by a hot package like the lawyer I’m riding?” Its hand trailed down the length of the torso of the poor man it had possessed.
“Leave now, or—” Wila manifested her sword. “—else.”
“I love a woman who likes penetration.” It sighed dramatically. “But not today, my dear, I have my own business with you and your sisters.”
She frowned. It had to be lying. All demons lied. And they usually lied by telling the truth. Would Penny’s husband Gene prescribe her something to keep the illogically thoughts from driving her crazy? She’d been off the antidepressants since she found out she was pregnant with Derek, and she’d been doing okay without them for the last thirteen years, thanks to her yoga and meditation.
“Aren’t you even going to ask?” The demon seemed offended.
“I’m not stupid enough to bargain with a demon,” she said. “I rather like my soul, and I plan on keeping it.”
He smiled. “What if I offered my assistance to the Horsemen to stop the Apocalypse for something other than your souls?”
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